my thoughts

-

Not much

Is missing

When It feels this good.

It's all

So right

So what is it we fear?

Maybe it’s

The stuff -

That stuff we need

To fill

The inevitable cracks

That appear-

Those flaws

That make us fearful

To bid for each others trust.

Do we have the stuff-

To share our weaknesses

And conquer our fears of each other-

To open up the bags

That follow us from person to person?

Show me.

It's for the sake of our love.

I know-
It’s easier said than done.

-

They always appear,

These cracks,

Overlooked out of choice.

They can change

Our perspective-

They can steal our chances.

The everyman's cause

We hold sacred

In every foundation laid-

It's just that...

We're not everyone.

We're us

We're new

We're unique

We want it

We see it

We hope for happiness

Because we feel it.

We find it in each other.
-
Only fear

Can hurt more

Than the hurts

We fear

To share with each other thoughs

Self defeating thoughts: "It never worked before, why should it work this time?"-

"I'm a failure!"

"Maybe I'm better off alone!"-

"Wait until he/she finds THIS out about me!"

"I don't think I can stand to be hurt again",

"See, I'm setting myself up to fail again, that's why I always fail"

If we don't risk

The truth with each other

Then protective lies

Will undermine us

And lessen our chances.

I'm only saying this now because I am already there.

So hopeful you are there as well.

Every circumstance has complications-

I’m up for them.

-

All in -

With whatever I've got to risk.

Maybe it will,

Maybe it can happen,

That real stuff.

Maybe the cracks

Are illusions that

Only happen when you try to avoid them.

Maybe our love will flow

Through the darkest thoughts,

The deepest worries,

Without harm.

-

I want you.

I love you.

Who knows?

Love may give us immunity

To triumph over our fears.

All we have to do is want it badly enough.

Call me crazy, an idealist,

But I'm looking for that place,

That special place for us to build
A bright and wonderful world together

We can share for years to come.

-

hal 09.12.08

the deep end

FallingOff the edge

At the deep end

Landing on our feet

Still holding each other

As close as we can

Still breathing

Eyes wide open.

Then

Rising above the risks

Into each others trust

Where we'll live

More comfortably

With more of the mutual

Discovering more connections

Even with the differences

We might fear now

Our romance won't die

It will get stronger with time.

This is where we belong.

It gets better and better.

Too deep? Naa.

This is the end we were looking for.

The Old Mill

Down under the tracks
Inside my childhood haunt
You walked into my world that day
So unsuspecting
So lovely
You broke over me
Just standing there
Like in a mist rising over my Brigadoon
My needs overcame my resistance
I was suddenly standing there
Blurred, almost blind
Asking empty questions
Saying whatever I had to say
Just to hear your voice and
Get as near as your eyes would allow me
Not knowing you might not let me in
Not knowing that later we would seek each other out
Not knowing how much we might mutually
Want this more than anything else
And share the common mystery we share
And freely give the keys up
To risk new love and happiness
And just be with each other hal

28 August 08

Youlike the flowers
opening
SLowly there on your taBLEEXPOsing new bright hues inside outnew life and new love like delicate secrets stretching fingers wanting to touch lips
oh How I
long to share your SeCRets with mine
petal to pistil gently gROwIng up slowly
and deeper than I've ever been
aging slowly together
as we blow
in the
wind
V
V
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v

You

like

the flowers
opening
SLowly there on your taBLE

EXPOsing new bright hues inside out

new life and new love like delicate secrets

stretching fingers wanting to touch lips
oh How I
long to share your SeCRets with mine
petal to pistil gently gROwIng up slowly
and deeper than I've ever been
aging slowly together
as we blow
in the
wind
V
V
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v

happy birthday

marla

love hal

Happy Birthday

My heart aches for you always but especially on this first birthday since we met. I feel so close to you already and yet I won't get to see you today. I try to say things, write things to you about how I feel, but my first choice is always to be there near you. I want to show you how I feel.